Looking for relief from emotional pain?

I help Christian parents with children ages 0-7 get through their painful emotions and find a sense of relief, comfort, and peace. Once the painful emotion is processed through, parents feel more free and feel more in control of their choices. I use an Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) approach, and I teach easy-to-use relational skills that answer the questions “How can I love my children better when it is so hard?” and “How can I lovingly handle my child being mean to me?” Beyond helping you through your painful emotions, this process will teach you how to manage your emotions on your own with less of a need for a counselor or therapist. Some of the things that you will learn:
    • How each of your emotions has a positive intention, although they may not be expressed in a way that brings positive results.
    • How to bring non-judgmental love and compassion to your anger, anxiety, sadness, or guilt so you can feel better.
    • How to interact with other people in that same way, from a place of non-judgmental curiosity and compassion.
Are you curious whether this could be a help for you? Sign up below for a free mini-session where you’ll find out more about how this works, we’ll talk a little about what you are struggling with, and you’ll get a chance to see if we’re a good fit.

Sign up for a free 30-minute call

My related history/service
  • Jan 2019-present: Started ProcessingEmotion.com with a focus on Internal Family Systems Therapy and Parent Child Interaction Therapy work with Christian parents of children ages 0-7.
  • Jan 2019-present: Facilitate Renew Rochester, a weekly group where we watch an IFS training video, discuss, and someone has a chance for a session.
  • March 2020: Ran an Introduction to Emotional Health Within a Christian Worldview seminar followed by Carpet Work/IFS sessions.
  • Jan 2019-Feb 2019: Ran two Introduction to Internal Family Systems Therapy seminars at the local public library. (https://www.facebook.com/events/2172540206160933/)
  • July 2017-March 2018Led small-group evangelism training and outreach Saturdays at Stonebrook Community Church.
  • Jan 2016-July 2017: Ran training for two types of small-group psychodrama, called Carpet Work and The Inspiration Process.
  • 2015-2018: Leading at Edge Venture Men’s Christian experiential retreats (https://www.edgeventure.org/)
    • I worked my way up from leading processes on Edge weekends to being the weekend leader of two weekends.
  • 2011-2018: Volunteered as a heart-care ministry provider for Stonebrook Community Church’s heart-care ministry, called Renew Ministry (https://www.stonebrook.org/care/renew-ministry/).
    • Used TPM/Immanuel Approach/IFS/Inspiration Process/Biblical Counseling.
  • July 2004-March 2005: Volunteer Domestic Violence Advocate.
    • I provided overnight phone coverage for an Iowa-based women’s domestic and sexual assault phone line.
My related training
  • Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)
    • Dec 2019-Present: Online training through UC Davis (https://www.ucdavis.edu/).
    • July 2019-May 2020: Coached by a PCIT therapist (went through the process with my wife and oldest child)
  • IFS Continuity Program
    • May 2020-Present
    • Twice monthly live video training with Internal Family Systems Therapy concepts.
  • IFS Practice Groups
    • Twice weekly practice sessions where I both receive my own IFS therapy and facilitate sessions
    • March 2018-Present: With a pastor
    • Sept 2019-Present: IFS Level 1 training practice groups
  • Internal Family Systems Therapy – Level 1 Training
    • July 2019-June 2020
    • One year training to be an Internal Family Systems Therapy Practitioner.
  • IFS Online Circle training
    • April 2019-March 2020
    • Twice monthly live video training with Internal Family Systems Therapy concepts.
  • Self-Coaching (https://thelifecoachschool.com/)
    • 2017-2018: I participated in six months of training. This is related to Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), but it is more useful to me than CBT.
  • Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC)
    • Six weekends of training in 2016 and 2017
    • My wife and I completed the ACBC fundamentals course and I completed the advanced course but did not pursue certification.
  • The Inspiration Process (https://www.dmitrib.com/)
    • 2015 correspondence/phone course, & Jan 2017 training weekend.
    • One-on-one or group psychodrama process for troubleshooting a person’s view of the Lord in relation to circumstances that they feel disheartened about.
  • Carpet Work
    • Two training weekends between 2015-2017. Many training sessions with experienced carpet leads, with me assisting, then leading groups with assistance, and then me taking the lead and trainer role.
    • Group psychodrama technique for processing through traumatic life events and connecting our more vulnerable experiences to the love and help of the Lord.
  • The Immanuel Approach (https://www.immanuelapproach.com/)
    • Approx 2013: Several video sessions followed by practice, and used as needed during Renew Ministry.
    • I completed video training in a small group practice setting.
  • Transformation Prayer Ministry (TPM) (https://www.transformationprayer.org/)
    • 2011- approx. 2015: Multiple years of weekly training and practice.
    • I completed the video training twice in a group practice setting, and completed in-person training with the founder to learn about their more recent process changes.
  • Discipled by: pastors Dave Bovenmyer (Stonebrook Community Church, 2009-present), Brad Barrett (Stonebrook Community Church, 2009-2018), & (additional getting permission to post)
Personal
I’ve been married to my wife for 14 years and have an 8-year-old son and a 5-year-old daughter. My statement of faith aligns with a Protestant Evangelical worldview, although I believe that spiritual growth includes heart-care ministry as much as other spiritual disciplines. I have a deep love and appreciation for Jesus that leads me to love others, and heart-care ministry, for me, is the natural expression of loving and following Christ by loving and serving his people, and serving people that he created that don’t know him yet.
Here’s a short story of how I decided to follow Jesus in 2002, at 24-years-old:
Growing up, I knew that God is love, but I didn’t know about Jesus. When I was in college I felt very alone and very sad and one day when I was walking to work in the rain I yelled out to God, “If you’re there, please show me, please help me.”
Not long after that I was reading a web page about how to be sure that you’re a Christian. It quoted 1st John 5:12 which says, “Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life”. After reading that I felt like God was asking me to accept that Jesus was His son. It was frightening for me to trust that because I didn’t understand everything that the Bible said and God was asking me to trust Him with a lot of things that I didn’t understand yet. But I decided to trust that Jesus is His Son. I chose to have Jesus be in charge of my life, whatever Jesus says is the way that I will do it, and I will learn how to follow Him.
I remember leaning my head against the wall when I realized that at the end of my life, without Jesus, I would have been held responsible for every time I disobeyed God and was selfish & chose to be unkind to other people. And I was grateful that Jesus paid for all of that for me so I wouldn’t have to take the punishment.
Relevant books that I have completed reading and value

The Bible The Bible (ESV/NIVUK/CSB)
Internal Family Systems Therapy Internal Family Systems Therapy. Richard C. Schwartz. (1995)
Classic Christianity Classic Christianity: Life’s Too Short to Miss the Real Thing. Bob George. (2010)
Self-Therapy Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step guide to Creating Wholeness, 2nd Edition. Jay Earley. (2009).
The Peacemaker The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. 3rd Edition. Ken Sande. (2004)
Gospel Fluency Gospel Fluency: Speaking the Truths of Jesus into the Everyday Stuff of Life. Jeff Vanderstelt. (2017)
The Mosaic Mind The Mosaic Mind: Empowering the Tormented Selves of Child Abuse Survivors. Regina Goulding and Richard Schwartz. (2002)
Boundaries for Your Soul Boundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies. Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller. (2018)
AWARENESS AWARENESS: A De Mello Spirituality Conference in His Own Words. Anthony De Mello. (1990)
A Gospel Primer for Christians A Gospel Primer for Christians: Learning to See the Glories of God’s Love. Milton Vincent. (2008)