We are all related
This morning one of my friends shared with me a motto: “We are all related.” This is one of the most beautiful mottos I have ever heard. & this is where I land:
We live in a multi-cultural world where each location has a majority culture and many non-majority cultures. And the majority culture in one location is the minority culture in many other locations. The challenge is for each culture, regardless of majority or minority status in a particular location, to accept and love and value the other cultures.
This is difficult for this human race because we identify with our own culture, and we like to classify things as “us” and “not us”. But since we are all related, all of us in all cultures are “all of us”. I hope that each of us hears the call to emigrate into a multi-cultural culture where new ideas are the norm, where we invite in the differences of every culture and yet retain our own unique and valuable sub-cultural identity.
Loving and accepting people and ideas that are strange to us is an activity of Self, curiosity, and an acceptance of how a person or a group of people present. It seems wonderful to me to be a part of both the Jesus-following and the Internal Family Systems Therapy worlds, which when they are followed by their core principles, draw us toward acceptance, love and kindness and away from a judgmental attitude and hate.
When we love each culture, then when one culture is in distress, all cultures are in distress for that culture.
“We are all related.” This is one of the most beautiful mottos I have ever heard.
Want to protect your children from your anger?
Do you want to love your children well but your anger gets in the way? You’ll be happy to know that there is a good way through it to get back to a place of love.
Anger gets a bad rap. Anger makes a great adviser, it lets us know when our boundaries have been violated and it motivates us to make changes when the status quo is not working for us. When we allow our anger to advise us instead of control us then we find that it is a very useful tool as a warning sign that something we care about is not being treated with the care that it deserves.
It is helpful to know that anger is a secondary emotion. That means that if you were to get curious about your anger then you would find another more vulnerable emotion behind it, often fear, anxiety, sadness, or shame. Anger acts as a protection for these more vulnerable emotions, covering them up and urging you into action.
The good way forward is, when we get curious about what the anger is protecting, then we have a chance to understand and resolve the underlying vulnerable emotions. Once that happens then the anger dissipates on its own — it was only there to protect the vulnerability. I’ve seen this happen many times in my personal life and when working with other people.
Anger can motivate us and serve us well, but if it starts controlling us instead of just advising us then it damages the relationships that we care about the most.
I can help
My compassionate and non-judgmental approach will help you to take better care of your children by helping you to take better care of yourself. I can help you get through the sometimes tricky process of bringing understanding and help to both your anger and the feelings that the anger is protecting. Sign up for a free 30-minute call with me using the link below to find out more.